Young Filipino gay guy is 24 years old (that’s me), Old White gay guy is 58 years old (that’s him, David).
34-year difference. He’s older, I am younger.
This article is about my perspective, thoughts in my mind, of being in this so called “Older and Younger Gay Relationship”.
Before David and I met online last March 2015, of course, we had already seen each other’s ages in our profiles. He was 56, and I was 23.
Realistically speaking, if you yourself are not really attracted to a person who’s older than you, you would not reply back to that person when he/she says “Hi” to you, right?
But for a gay guy like me, who’s done partying and enjoying gay teen life (started since I was 16 *wink), who’s a believer of, “Age is just a number”, and a gay guy who just wants to be treated fairly as a husband or whatsoever…the age of 58 freaking years old is just an “I don’t freaking care!” to me.
I didn’t actually expect that I was going to find a “nice guy” in this gay social app, Chasabl. Honestly, I was enjoying chatting to some men on these popular apps like Growlr and Scruff. If you’re a gay guy who’s reading this, you’ll know which tribe David and I belong (*wink).
But time went by, I got bored using those apps. Coz I felt like, most of those men were like family already, related to each other, or friends, I dunno! I just felt that they all knew each other already. LOL!
So, I checked the App Store for some different gay apps again, then I tried looking for a different one, and thats when I found Chasabl. I found it cool, I didn’t care about what it was though, coz for me, it’s just the same gay app like the others. I was like,
“Okay, download, create profile, put a little ‘about me’ on it, upload picture, voila!”.
After that, the happiest part, men searching (*wink)! Either nearby or anywhere, I was just looking at their profile pictures though, then tap it, read their profile, then say hi, then see where it would go.
Then, yah! I saw David’s picture. For me, he did look cute for an older guy. Then I read his profile, then I realized,
“Hmmm…this man looks okay and he looks not-that-playful like the others (or like me? LOL), but ugh, he’s far, but okay, will just say hi…”.
And that’s how it started! We had long chats on this app, even during my work (Sorry to my team mates at that time and to my Team Leader. I love you all. Mwaaaa). We exchanged phone numbers and Facebook accounts, did video calls at any time. That happened for 3 months.
Then, we finally met when he decided to visit me in the Philippines last July of 2015. We spent a little over a week together. I was able to introduce him to some of my friends, and also to my family, especially to my Papa (which was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life since David is older than my father. Woooh!).
After that, we decided to be together, to fly from the Philippines, to leave the life that I had there, and to start a new life with him. We followed all the immigration processes, from US embassy in the Philippines, til I got here.
We got married last February of 2016, then I got a full-time job last July of 2016. I’m able to help pay the bills here, and to help with all the household responsibilities, and of course, to have some vacation trips together.
“Okay Gerome, so what’s the life that you’re talking about being in an older & younger relationship?”
Well, this is it, this is the life that I am living, those things that you’ve read above. That is the life that I’m having, being in an older & younger relationship. This is not different from the other gay couples out there, right?!
Well, I must say that there’s a lil’ difference like we have a strong connection, even though we have faced some problems; we’re still together and we’re not ending or breaking up our marriage or our relationship.
We love each other, to the moon and back.
Okay, yes, he’s older and I’m younger, but David and I are just like, “So what? Who cares, polar bear?”.
How about, David is a “Sugar Daddy”?! Hell to the freakin’ NO, he is not! (Gerome, calm down)
If he is, I would not have looked for a job here and make my own money, and I would just stay at home and live like, “Eat, sleep, repeat”, and that is absolutely insane and boring.
I remember, when David and I were spending time together in the Philippines, I posted a picture of us on my Facebook, and someone (I won’t mention the name of this person *wink), wrote a comment like, “Is that your sugar daddy?”.
David got a lil’ pissed, which is understandable. I said sorry for what that person had said, then I just messaged that person, explaining that wasn’t a good comment.
Good thing, my man is an open-minded person. Yes, we already knew what people would think about us when they saw us being together. And we don’t care, coz we’re too busy working on how to make our life happy together. We’re busy planning and working on our dreams and goals that will keep us connected.
My family and friends, his family and his friends, know us already. They love and support us. That’s already heart-melting for us. Do you think we will add those people in our lives who want to say negative stuff about us? Again, hell to the no! We don’t need them (*wink).
I know, that older & younger couples are kinda’ unusual in others’ perspective.
Honey, just deal with it, give yourself a chance to be happy instead.
This story that we share (and we will share) is how our hearts collided. Ages are just numbers. This man, wants to love me and to be with me, and who am I not to receive it, who am I to avoid it? I didn’t have any reasons not to love him back. He loves me for who I am, and I love him for who he is.
For couples out there, straight or gay, follow your heart and mind, choose to be a better person. Don’t let people around you put you down. Just know the things that will make you happy. If that person makes you feel loved, and you’re giving the same back to that person, that’s sweet love, that’s happiness. If somebody gives negative comments about your relationship, don’t hate that person, take the comment, and move on.
The most important thing…you and your partner are happy, making more plans together, and making each other smile.
If people around the world are going to hate us, so be it.
David and I are still going to be together, no matter what.